According to Tumblr, the last time I posted something on this blog was 3 months ago. So since then, I guess I’ve gotten 3 months older, gotten that much closer to finishing COLLEGE, and actually came to the point where I have to start thinking about realistic post-college plans. Such a weird feeling when you’re so excited for the next chapter in life, yet you’re scared because nothing’s set in stone. The feeling that college graduation brings is so much different from high school graduation. In high school, I remember how happy and excited we were about finally leaving all the high school drama and starting anew at a new environment, studying something that we were interested in. We would no longer be forced to participate in P.E., or be stuck with subjects that we weren’t so keen about. But that was all four years ago. We were barely 18 and still somewhat not fully mature enough to survive in the real world.

And now, COLLEGE graduation. Where did time go? How did 4 years just fly by like that? As a 22 year old soon to be a college graduate, I’m still not sure if I’m ready to take this step. But do I have a choice? Nope. Zip Zap. Nuh uh. Nada. And the weird part is that I’m actually scared to graduate. I thought the end of high school marked the start of so called, “being-a-grown-up-and-surviving-in-the-real-world”. But what did I know? My parents still provided me with the necessary finances, the school counselors guided me through many decisions that I had to make, and basically, it was no different from high school besides the fact that my parents weren’t next to me to tell me to study everyday.

The end of college really means embarking on my new journey to find what defines me. The jobs that I get, the people that I interact with, and the places that I choose to live are all up to me. I realized that as we grow older, less and less people care about us. ha ha. sounds sarcastic but so true. No more counselors I can just walk into to ask about my life choices, and heck, I can’t even ask my parents to pay for rent or give me money so I can go have fun. Despite all the sadness, it’s finally time to let my college degree shine! So how am I feeling these days? bittersweet. somewhat excited. melancholy. scared. happy. All of these feelings are mixed up that I don’t even know how I feel. 

So I’m so close to getting a taste of the bitterness of life. But until that day comes haunting me from every direction possible, I will enjoy these last 4 more weeks as a college student! 

ps. I think I’m actually going to miss La Jolla. Time to start my kamikaze touring of LJ and SD!

Time to go back to my usual routine of staying up late working on homework, eating ramen and mac and cheese, pondering what to eat for lunch/dinner, PROCRASTINATING, worrying about midterms and finals, wishing that it’s the weekend already, and calling my momma to ask questions because I still lack a lot when it comes to living on my own. 5 months of college left which means 5 months of sd…. here I come!!